Monday, July 17, 2017

Thank You


Warning: A bit of a rant follows. If you're not into rants, feel free to skip it.

I don't hate anyone.
I was taught that hating someone is not a very Christian thing to do. I don't know much about all that Christian stuff, but I was a kid. I took their word for it.
However, some people made it to a special list.
It's called “I'll never forget”.
The co-worker who, at a staff meeting, said “it's not our fault you have that thing” while deciding I would teach the largest and most difficult groups of kids the following school year. That thing is a chronic illness called Myasthenia Gravis, something that limits my life every single minute of the day. I was well-considered by my peers and I worked the hardest. My reply was “I wish no one, of those you love the most, ever has this thing”. She started crying. To this day, I don't know why. If anyone should've cried, it should've been me. I was forced to retire that year.
The friend who called me selfish because I wouldn't pick up the phone while I was in hospital undergoing a treatment for that thing. I lost a friend.
The woman who came between me and someone I cared for very much. Looking back, she only did what she was allowed to do. And I didn't do any allowing... She is one of the most insecure people I have ever seen. Her profile updates are textbook examples of a terribly lonely heart. It's actually sad to see. She was an eye-opener.
Finally, someone who said the most unthinkable, harmful things about me. It was a terrible, painful blow.
And every now and then these people come to mind.
I haven't seen them in a long time.
I wonder if they are better off now.
I wonder how their lives have moved on.
I still don't hate them.
Because of what they did and said, better things happened.
I stopped working, and my health improved exponentially.
I left behind a friendship that was destroying me.
I got to see a few things I had been blind to.
I met someone who makes my life sunnier.
Years will go by, but I shall never forget what you did to me and, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for that.

Note: "Myasthenia gravis (..) is a chronic autoimmune neuromuscular disorder that is characterized by fluctuating weakness of the voluntary muscle groups." Source: Myasthenia Gravis Foundation of America


  1. very meaningful and powerful Lizzie!

    1. Thank you, Cybele. I appreciate your words. Hugs.